After 13 years, the fear and disbelief still shakes me to the point of panic and breathlessness. No moment passes without feeling the weight of his loss and the devastation of this godforsaken day!
Dear Friends,
Each year in the months leading up to February 23, Pam and I experience a steady creep of increased anxiety and emotional turbulence undoubtedly created by four traumatic years that led us to the unimaginable event that forever shattered our lives. We now walk life’s path shackled by grief. Every attempt to reach back on beautiful memories comes under attack by those four years of hellish uncertainty and fear that ultimately led us into the final months of terror and denial – forcing us to witness the spark of life systematically withdraw from our once perfectly healthy, happy, baby-boy who commonly proclaimed… “I LOVE MY LIFE!”
Each year since 2010 I’ve been posting ‘In Memory’ on the anniversary of Tyler’s passing. I’ve tried to convince myself that I should stop. I can’t. As hard as it is this yearly post is our mechanism to authenticate Tyler’s beautiful and amazing existence on earth. Even after all these years, Tyler’s state of non-existence is not accepted by our broken hearts, nor understood by our intellect.
Why am I telling you this?…
Each year I post in memory of Tyler we’re reminded of the love and support we receive from all of you. Tyler was diagnosed in 2006. That first year we kept quiet about the challenge Tyler was facing. As word gradually spread, your support, encouragement, kind words, and prayers, showered upon us while we were on our massive roller coaster of medical challenges and emotions. In 2008 we had a period of rejoice and relief when the doctors believed Tyler had reached remission. In 2009 the vicious monster returned. This time doctors described Tyler’s prognosis as “Grave”. Our only and last option was a clinical trial at St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital in Memphis, TN. Memphis is where we clenched onto hope so tightly that we were driven into a state of delirium. On that very first night at St. Jude I started openly writing in detail on ‘Caring Bridge’ about Tyler’s medical journey, sharing with all of you the challenges we faced, perceived triumphs, experiences, and the friendships we forged. No detail was spared. Sixty-three days later we found ourselves once again falling through the abyss of darkness as our St. Jude doctors explained that the trial had failed and there was nothing more anyone could do.
Since 2006 you-all have been following our difficult and tragic journey in some way; ‘Caring Bridge’, Tyler DeMarco Foundation Group and Tyler DeMarco Foundation – for Fighting Childhood Cancer on Face Book, supporting us with your kind words, encouragement, prayers, or monetary support of the Tyler DeMarco Foundation. We simply want you to know how much we appreciate and value each of you for the love, support, and friendship, you’ve provided through the years.
Thank you for staying along side us, for your understanding, kindness, support, loyalty, and friendship. Most importantly, thank you for never forgetting Our Amazing Tyler!
With Heartfelt Love and Appreciation,
Tyler DeMarco Foundation
Don, Pam, Ryan, Sarah, Tyler (Always)
